‘Integrity means a state of honesty and wholeness. Honesty is a key element in psychotherapy. Being honest with ourselves means to face the facts of our experience – to be willing to feel what we are feeling, sense what we are sensing and question all of our cherished beliefs. (…) This means that we stop blaming others for our experience. No one makes us feel as we do. How we feel is our responsibility. We may get triggered by others’ words or actions, but it is still up to us to examine our reactivity.

Telling the truth does not mean dumping our reactions and judgements onto others. A true honesty leads us to look at our part in a situation and acknowledge it.

Honesty also requires an equal willingness to hear the truth of others. To listen does not necessarily mean that we agree. We stay open to the possibility that there is something that we don’t understand or didn’t know, open to our own blind spots and misinterpretations, open to learning, yet knowing that we don’t need to accept another person’s version of reality if t does not truly resonate with us.’

John Prendergast.   In Touch